Some of my favorites...

Wife / GF ... "How many people does it take to shovel the coal"
Husband / BF .... "None, it has one of those automatic stokers"

Mom to Son ... "Don't touch that (anywhere on the steam engine in general) it's covered in germs"

Guy to Son: ... "Look they use steam for the brakes also" as he points to the steam heat connection leaking at the last car.

Female visiting the cab .... "This thing is making me hot"

Newspaper reporter headline ... "The Iron horse Snorts"


Tim W.

What's wrong with having a relative that worked for the railroad?

How do you get the coal thrown all the way up under the smokestack?

While some of these are classic due to the obvious lack of common sense in the person asking (I still can’t get over “does it burn water?”), I think some leeway should be granted to things like “what’s that sound?”, “what’s that gauge for?” and “my_____ used to work for the railroad too”.

I agree that some utterances like “Is this a steam engine or a diesel?” are worthy of an eye roll (you don’t need to have any knowledge of aviation to clearly tell the difference between a jet engine and a propeller), but some of the comments listed here seem pretty innocuous to me.

Nothing whatsoever.

Except, on average, it seems that this is literally ALL they know about said relative. It wouldn't matter if the person in question was nothing more than a freight clerk, shop mechanic or "engine wiper;" they associate it ALL with wearing a pin-striped hat and overalls and red bandanna, and all the attendant glory. Or they know so little they think the railroad was the "Lehigh Valley and Reading" or the "Burlington Santa Fe & Pacific" (well, maybe they were boomers....).

Further, in at least a couple rare cases, the person making that claim expects to be accorded special status--like a free ticket or cab ride--for simply making that statement.

And this is the wrong thread to get into the issue of occasional embellishment or exaggeration of the individual's actual status or duties, either by the individual or mangling of oral history over time (thus turning a fireman on a podunk local into the "engineer of the Broadway Limited/Super Chief")......

Thankfully, there are the occasional exceptions that turn out to have good records, photos, and a great oral history to tap......

Eons ago I was firing on a well-known tourist RR and before we departed the station I was getting things ready in the cab when a fellow called up to me asking what makes it go? I responded "the engineer". No, what makes the engine go, is it real? I pointed to the coal pile at my feet and to the firebox where the fire was blazing away not saying anything. End of discussion!

I was standing on the platform in Olympia, WA a number of years ago. I was waiting for Doyle to come through with the 4449. As I recall it was painted black at the time for the BNSF employee specials. Of course there was a diesel in the consist behind the tender. A gentlemen was there to meet Amtrak and was standing next to me. After Doyle roared by, the guy looks at me and says "Was that thing real or was the other engine (the diesel) pushing it?

This comment reminds me of a story, from either Lucius Beebe or Al Kalmbach, that went something like this (I am working from memory):

The author/storyteller was recalling a ride on a Southern Pacific train in the 1940s, climbing up the grads and rounding the turns to Tehachapi. Power on this streamlined train in orange and red was a Daylight 4-8-4, which had a black MT 4-8-2 as a helper.

Ahead of our storyteller were a pair of old women. who were either on a first train ride or perhaps had not been on a train for many years. As the train coiled it way uphill, the locomotives became visible.

One of the ladies said to her companion, "It's not wonder our train is this slow. Our modern locomotive is not only pulling this train up the bill, but it's pushing that old locomotive ahead of it!"

Some things don't change.

I think that some of the confusion in the minds of visitors to railroad museums and tourist railroads regarding the authenticity of their steam locomotives has to do with there actually being a lot of "fake" steam locomotives in parks and amusement parks, such as, but not only, the Chance "C. P. Huntington" infernal combustion park trains. Forty years ago, when I worked on the Cedar Point railroad, more than a few guests would come up to me while we were in a station and ask me if the locomotive was a real steam locomotive. Then there were operations like the Clinchfield's "One Spot" Ten-Wheeler mated with the F7 B-unit, controlled from #1. I've heard recordings of this lash-up. Number 1 would get the train moving loudly and then they would crank up the F-unit and you could no longer hear the steam locomotive. So, there is a basis for some of the confusion. Just some.

One more.
While volunteering with the Black River in NJ, heard a lady yell to her children "Don't touch the 3rd rail!"

Any guess where they might be from?

Maybe 40 years ago, I was involved with the NH&I. Very early in the season, we were using one of the Copper Range Baldwins on the passenger train, as the steam engine wasn't ready for the season yet. We were sitting at the station, with about ten minutes to departure, when a woman, with several kids, comes up and asks if the train is running today.

The conductor was on the ground, and answered her with something like "Yes, but our steam engine isn't ready yet this season, so we' re using a diesel." The woman asks "So what is the difference?" The conductor, quick thinking, says "Why, nothing at all" and escorts her to the ticket counter.

Great sales job! But to think of how much less the general public knows about railroads now. And then there is the media- "The conductor was blowing the whistle when the train hit the car."

Lionelville.

EDM had a smart conductor.

But then, there's lotsa places you can ride behind steam, but where else (but SMS) could you ride behind a Baldwin straight-8 DS-4-4-1000?!

Phil Mulligan

My guess would be New York City or Long Island (speaking as someone who is originally from the latter place himself and has heard the same thing too many times for it to be surprising).

When almost every train you've ever seen or ridden has been legitimately powered by 625 volt (NY City subway) or 750 volt (LIRR and Metro-North) DC third rail, it's easy to assume that's how trains work everywhere.

-Philip Marshall

HA!

That was my take - somewhere in the NY area: on PATH, NYCTA, SIRT, MNR or LIRR. That adds up to a lot of third rail territory.

Phil Mulligan